Editorial: What ever happened to Doritos?

I’ve noticed over the years the steady decline in the flavor and consistency of Doritos Nacho cheese flavored tortillia chips.  What used to be my favorite chip has now fallen to second to last putting them just ahead of the dreaded Funyuns as far as snack chips go.

I mean, what’s happened?  First they roll out these new “wild” flavors that taste like each chip was carefully sprinkled with wild tree bark from distant lands.  And the new spicy flavor is not spicy, it’s sour.  Does Frito-Lay know the difference between a spicy taste and a sour taste?  I’m sick of companies confusing the two.  It’s like the restaurant that tries to pass off extra salty tuna as “blackened”. 

And the aftertaste is just plain bad.  Doritos have always had the reputation of being the chip most prone to give you bad breath. I didn’t mind having to suck on breath mints after eating them, as long as they tasted good.  Now, not only do you have bad breath, you are tasting the after effects for hours.  They sort of give you a feeling that you did something you know you shouldn’t have done.  “You see, I told you not to go out with her… you are going to regret that decision for a long time,” has been replaced with “You are going to hate yourself if you eat that chip..I’m warning you…don’t do it!”  <Eats Chip>  “You see, now you want to go kill yourself don’t you?”
Oh how I long for the days when Nacho Cheese Doritos had the nacho cheese powder that made you want to keep on eating.  Every now and again, you’d get a chip covered in extra cheesy powder and it was like a small bite of nacho heaven that if a Mexican saw you eating them, he’d immediately lose respect for you.  But that’s not the
point….

Apparently, the artificial cheese cartel has put a blockade on all cheese flavored products going to and from the Frito-Lay corporation. Or of more concern, there might actually be a worldwide shortage on nacho cheese sprinkles where a country is hoarding all of it for themselves.  If that is the case, it could only be resolved through a military invasion or a war. Personally, I’d say it’s a battle worth fighting.  Is it fair to the world that only a small portion get cheesy goodness?  Of course not!  We must fight for our right to eat the chips our forefathers wanted us to eat.  

Who’s with me?

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