Great little video you found. I have been using a variation of this question (“what are you trying to achieve?”) for a number of years with great success.

One of my main uses of the question is to redirect the energy of angry people toward productive action.

I was able to use it recently with one of my brothers during a family dispute that was getting very emotionally heated. He was reacting to an email and planning an equally charged response.

When I asked the question, it really broke through the emotions and caused him to stop and consider his actions from the perspective of his desired outcome and not just in reaction to the immediate issue.

The conflict didn’t magically heal, but we moved past the fight and got everyone’s emotions in check.

Andrew Seltz
The Go-To Guy!

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