My wife and I didn’t know we had a problem.

Our son had gone from being a kind and lovable boy of 10 to someone prone to violent tantrums, outrageously offensive remarks to other kids, parents and teachers.  He was getting suspended from school on a weekly basis for incidents I thought were borderline crazy.

I complained daily that he never seemed to grasp cause and effect.  He’d get into trouble at school for something and both the school and his parents would punish him.  The very next day, he’d go in and repeat the same mistake.  Lather, rinse, repeat – we’d go through the same dance again and again.

There were late nights when he would obsess about a grandparent who died 2 years prior.  His tearful detailing of the subtleties of human death, dying and decay, I literally got chills!  It was like living with the kid from the Sixth Sense.

We wondered if he had been abused by someone while we weren’t around. The doctors were baffled and could not give us any answers.

At one point I considered the possibility that after his appendix burst and had emergency surgery, maybe he had suffered a mild brain damage from the anesthetic or perhaps the poison from the appendix caused the problem. Many nights we stayed awake trying to make sense of it all.

How does a parent deal with a child who seems to get more odd by the day?  How do you stop him from acting out?  How do you stop him from hurting himself?

Well, if you are me, you search.

One doctor had hinted at the diagnoses for 3 months before he called me in for a 1 hour meeting.

“Listen,” he said.  “You have a great kid there.  He is likeable -  I like him and most everyone will like him.  He’s bright.  He’s got a caring spirit.  And I know you and your wife are on his side – some parents aren’t.

…But you seem resistant to hear what I am telling you.”

“Ok,” I said.  “What are you telling me.”

“I believe your son has autism. “

And there it was.  He said it.  I dreaded with my very soul to hear that word.  I felt my chest sink into my stomach.  Adrenalin hit my bloodstream.

No.  I said.  He’s too smart.  He’s like a mechanical engineer – just geeky and awkward.  That’s all.

But inside I knew.

The doctor continued talking, but I couldn’t hear.  I nearly panicked about what it meant  for my son’s future.  What it meant for my family.  What about schools? How would we survive with this horrible curse thrust upon us?

“..His behaviors, social skills and inability to see cause and effect are extreme enough to warrant that diagnoses with no further testing.  However, I recommend you take him in for more in depth testing so proper school arrangements could be made.”

Thus began a new journey.  I started a new education into the world of autism spectrum disorder, especially Asperger syndrome.

And if you are expecting me to say everything has been peachy keen since, sorry this isn’t that type of post.  But it hasn’t been nearly as horrible as I expected.  There have been many lows but some memorable highs too.

Today is autism awareness day. It begins the official autism awareness month.

As a parent of a child with Asperger’s syndrome (mild-high functional autism) this today is a good opportunity for me to help raise awareness.  Though I am still new to it all.

But I have decreased my ignorance with regard to autism in several positive ways:

1. I discovered my son wasn’t abused, poisoned, brain damaged, or seeing dead people
2. I discovered he is still smart and autism won’t decrease his brain capacity.
3. I discovered that although it may not be natural, he will one day learn cause and effect.  We’ve already experienced improvements in this area.
4. I learned there are hundreds of wonderful families in my area going through the same thing who are wanting to support and help.
5. I learned there is a wealth of information being shared among parents of autistic children and that my wife and I could get support and information just by getting involved.
6. I’ve discovered that it is still going to be difficult much of the time, but there are wonderful spots of clarity along the way.

That’s my story.  Let’s hear yours…

Has your life been changed by an autistic child or relative?  What discoveries have you made about autism that changed your original misconceptions?  I encourage you to share your story in the comments.