In a post earlier this week, I told the tale of the frog and the scorpion. There were a lot of cool responses about what the moral of the story is. Some people nailed it. One reader thought I should have ended it with the words "Because I’m a scorpion. It’s in my nature" which may have made the moral easier to get (point taken).
Still others found it to be negative or mean-spirited for me to post it. That’s ok. I started the post by saying it was easy to miss the meaning.
It’s true, the story may seem negative. It is an example of what happens to us when we don’t pay attention to the "nature" of the individuals around us. Some are trustworthy and honorable while there are others who we say "you shouldn’t trust ‘em as far as you could throw ‘em."
For an optimist, some of my goal setting clients may think I spend too much time looking at possible problems that may happen. I like to call these problems pitfalls. I like to deal with them early so they aren’t a surprise when one occurs. Even my software has a special area to help predict a potential pitfall so when one blocks our path, we have anticipated it and have prepared ourselves to handle it. Or as Barney Fife used to say "Nip it in the bud, Andy!"
You see, scorpions can account for some bad pitfalls if we don’t recognize them or let them get too close. All it takes is one scorpion to wipe out a $10 million dollar bank account if we aren’t paying attention. One scorpion can ruin our marriage, our reputation or affect our mental well-being. A scorpion running around a company can drive it to bankruptcy – putting you as well as the scorpion out of a job. That’s why I recommend once you identify a scorpion you keep your eye on it.
The moral of the story is you must first be aware there are scorpions
in our midst if we want to stay safe and have a successful voyage. We
must be quick to identify them and slow to change our minds once they
are identified. We must also be aware of their power to destroy – even
at the expense of the scorpion itself.
In 1 minute or less, our frog in the tale threw out all his historical
knowledge of scorpions. This quick decision cost him his life.
One comment pointed out many use this as an excuse for racism. Should
we consider one race to be a scorpion and another to be a frog? No
way! The frog and the scorpion is not a way to pigeonhole an entire
group of people into the scorpion label. That is missing the point.
You wouldn’t say all black people are more "cognitive behavioral
focused" than white people who are all "sensing-feeling" would you? At
the same time, you wouldn’t say all Chinese people are scorpions and
all Mexicans are frogs. You would instead look at an individual
person’s nature.
A good example of a scorpion is a married man who is having an affair
with another woman. He repeatedly tells his mistress he will leave his
wife and kids for the other woman. This normally results in one of two
bad outcomes. The man hurts his existing wife and family to move on to
the new woman or he hurts the other woman by stringing her along.
To an outsider this is obviously a lose-lose deal for everyone,
including the scorpion. The other woman loses because if he does leave
his wife for her, he has already proven himself as a scorpion. He will
one day cheat on her too!
The scorpion loses half his possessions and his net worth. If his wife
knows his scorpion side and proves it in court he could lose
significantly more, including access to his children. His kids will
lose their father. The wife loses a marriage.
If there is one positive, the scorpion’s life is a whirlwhind of excitement.
Another example of a potential scorpion would be the office gossip.
This person spends a good percentage of each workday walking from desk
to desk talking about the other people in the office. “Did you hear
about what Sharon did?” “Did you hear about what Mike said to his
boss?”
These scorpions are good at gaining the trust of other people. If you
have known any you might have caught yourself thinking, “Oh she’d never
say anything about me behind my back; she and I have a better
friendship than everybody else.” Or you might think, “He may talk bad
about everybody else, but we’re tight like this! (crossing fingers for
show).”
Unfortunately, the scorpion does betray their friends with cold words
that paint them in an unfavorable light. It’s in their nature to do
so. Expecting them to behave differently just because the scorpion
says they will, is embracing your inner frog.
Scorpions don’t change, it’s in their nature.
{ 3 comments }
The last type of scorpion I’ve met was someone with “malignant narcisism”. Someone who thinks about his benefit all the time and have empathy for others. They are extremely seductive. There is no better description for these people than scorpions.
Silvia, I agree the narcisistic person falls into this category. I am starting to wonder if unbridled selfishness might be the cause of scorpionism.
Important to know that I am not speaking about commmon narcissism, but a personality disorder called “malignant narcissism” that I only became aware after dealing with one. I’ve learnt about it on the web (worth a – brief – search to know about it).
Let me correct an errror!
Someone who thinks about his benefit all the time and have – NO – no empathy for others at all.