10 Ways to Make A Banker Cry

When you start to pay off your credit cards and loans you may find your bank is calling offering “services”.   Since you probably don’t want to go back into debt, here are some tips to make the banker cry… all in fun, of course.

1.   Use their postage paid envelopes to send them artwork from your preschooler.
2.   Pay off your 1 year interest free loan 1 month before it’s due.
3.   Get them to draw up the preliminary loan application then say “I changed my mind.”
4.   Chop up your Capital One credit cards…and mail them to Nations bank with a note that says “Please cancel.”
5.   When mailing off a credit card payment, be sure and include a note that says “I’ve been thinking of you, I really like that outfit you are wearing.   What are you doing for dinner tonight?”
6.   If they phone you because your payment is late say “My identity was stolen in the movie Total Recall.”
7.   If they call back due to a late payment, tell them you have something important to say.   Then read the phone book (If it works for a filibuster it will work for Chase Manhattan.)
8.   Stop by the local bank, ask to see the manager and when you sit down, say “Thank you for meeting with me, I wanted to talk to you about loaning your little bank here some money.”
9.   If you are ever asked what you can use for collateral say “An ox and 3 chickens.”   If they ask if there’s anything else, say “I guess I could throw in a bushel of ripe delicious apples.”
10.   If they offer you an “interest free loan, demand they be competitive by offering an interest and payment free loan.