Are you really making a great decision? if you are torn between 2 or 3 difficult decisions, here is a simple trick that will clear away the clouds so you can get the charity you need.
I call it the 20 year decision.
In all of my major decisions I think about whether I can live with it for 20 years. Example: Before I got married I asked myself can I live with someone like this for 20 years? With many marriages lasting only a few short years, this is a good question to gauge how compatible you are for the long term.
I thought about Kim’s good traits as well as the ones that weren’t so good. Could I live with her ‘warts and all’ – as Shakespeare said? Yes, was my answer.
In turn, I asked her to seriously consider me for a 20 year stretch. Since I am not psychic I don’t know what thoughts she really had, but I would imagine she considered my good and bad too.
The conclusion was I would be a good 20 year match as well. Turns out, we were probably right. We’ve been married 14 years and although nobody knows the future, I am sure we’ll make it to 20 – and beyond.
For this to work, you would focus for at least 3 minutes. Visualize what life will be like with each alternative.
Considering a new job offer? What will it be like working there in 20 years. Do you still like it?
Considering marrying this person? What will life be like with them in your life 20 years from today?
Considering investing in a business or stock? What will it look like in 20 years?
This 20 year question can save a whole lot of heartache because it forces you to consider your options carefully instead of how it ‘feels’…
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This is a great method and works for me, too. When I’m teaching conflict resolution workshops, I use a similar idea to help people decide what disputes are worth pursuing and what ones they should let roll off their back…I call it my “When I’m 80 rule” and it goes like this: When I’m 80 and I’m looking back on my life, will this be one I care about?