Most people consider the concept of “thought police” as a negative concept. Yet, those same people waste valuable time and energy worrying about what others think about them.
It’s none of their business.
I chuckled to myself today when an associate told me my name came up at a meeting. “They were a bit stressed about a technical issue and your name came up.” he said.
I didn’t even ask what was said at the meeting. Why? Because it’s none of my business.
Although I’d like for people to think the best of me and I do work hard to make a good first impression, if they don’t like me I let it go.
Once you’ve made your impression, you have absolutely no control of what they think. Negative people will think negative things about you. Positive people will think positive things. Attempting to Change their thoughts is largely a waste of time.
It takes too much effort to:
1. Get an accurate assessment of what people are thinking anyway.
2. Change their thoughts
Don’t forget…People are slow to change behaviors and opinions.
It’s best just to let them think what they want to think. Besides, it’s none of your business.
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Over 15 years ago I began on a journey of self searching and improvement. I found a book titled “What you think about me is none of my business”. I fell in love with the title and bought it. It actually ended up being more about a spiritual life and it was just what I needed to read at the time. I use the phrase from time to time on my friends. What a great interpretation you have here.
It reminds me of another saying that a friend of mine uses on me. “You would quit worrying so much about what people thought of you, if I knew how little they did”.
Matt, that’s a great quote too: “You would quit worrying so much about what people thought of you, if I knew how little they did”.
Thanks for sharing
I mostly agree. People are slow to change. And most often people who are negative are not going to change. It might even be that they’ve been waiting to find a reason not to like you in the first place.
What I’ve found is that I can’t necessarily change people’s minds by anything that I say – unless they really want to reconcile. The only thing that can change their minds, over a long time, is watching my actions. What I do, how I live my life and interact with other people, the integrity I keep and so on, will be the only way that people MAY change their opinions of me. BEING how you want people to see you can make a difference.
But if perception is reality, then do we not HAVE to change the way people think of us in certain jobs?
I work largely in a support role, and if there are negative perceptions among my customers, that’s my reality, and that’s their reality. So when it comes time for a review, they will let my boss know in a second how horrible I am, and how I’m not meeting their needs.
So if I don’t change the way those people think, it’s going to impact my bottom line.
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