If only I was taller…
If only I was smarter…
If only I lived somewhere else…
If only I had the right computer…
What if onlys are holding you back from persuing your goal?
If onlys come in two flavors. The ones you can do something about and the ones you can’t. Either way, here’s the way to get rid of these before they undermine your goals.
Which category does this if only go?
What’s the difference between “If only I was taller” and “If only I had a car”
Answer: one you can do something about, the other you can’t.
Don’t go changing for me…
You were born with physical and mental attributes that make you unique; some of which you cannot change. Likewise, there are other people in your environment who you cannot change either. You might call this the hand you were dealt.
With that said, what you think is your weakness often turns to a strength in the long run.
I remember when I was in my early twenties, I was networking with a local and highly successful restaurateur. I was trying to decide whether to take a major loan against my home mortgage and open a restaurant franchise.
After doing the math, I decided the risk and investment wasn’t good at the time. But the business owner had another opportunity. He offered to fully finance a new restaurant concept with us as partners. I would manage the business – he’d finance it.
He even had a location picked out!
Well, after touring the location, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. The rental agent was pushing for a quick sign on the lease – my potential business partner was pushing for me to sign his contract ASAP. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt.
Something just wasn’t right about the deal – but I didn’t know what.
However, at the time, I was kicking myself for being too sensitive and analytical.
“If only I wasn’t so emotional about business decisions.”
“If only I could ignore my intuition.”
I was pretty hard on myself for not ignoring my gut feeling and going for it. There was so much money potential and here I was walking away from it…
Fast forward a year -
Turns out that the location the rental agent said was “going to be rented to someone else tomorrow” sat empty for a over a year…
A benevolent couple who had purchased a franchise from this guy called me and warned me not to do business with him. He exaggerated his bottom line and they felt like they were left holding the bag with this franchise.
Although I don’t know the reasons why, every last one of this entrepreneurs restaurants went out of business. It was a mystery to me why these went under so quickly with the lines of customers they had every day.
So you can see, my weakness of intuition and making decisions with my gut turned out to be a blessing.
Fixing the if onlys you can fix..
Abraham Lincoln called what I am talking about sharpening the ax.
Nothing stalls forward goal progress like getting in gear to work on your goal and finding out the one tool you need to make it all happen is unavailable.
Before you get started on your tasks, decide what do you need in order to work on this goal. Do you need some pens or paper? Do you need some new running shoes? Do you need to buy some software? Whatever it is go get it! There’s no sense putting off a goal’s progress when it’s just a tool standing in your way.
The time to collect the tools you need is when enthusiasm is high and inspiration has it’s grip. Most times you’ll find that it’s when you are first starting out that getting the right tools is necessary.
If you wait, then the lack of the right tools become “if only syndrome” If only syndrome results in destructive little gremlins knocking you off your game… They persuade non action because you can always say “If only I had a pair of decent running shoes I’d run today.” “If only I had some fresh vegetables, I’d make a salad instead of throwing in this microwave pizza…” “If only I had that computer book, I could study for my certification.”
Have you ever had an experience where a personal “weakness” turned out to be a strength? Was there ever a time when getting the right tool moved your progress forward? If so, please tell us about it in the comments below!
This is part 26 of 101 Goal Setting Breakthroughs: A 31 Day Blog Series That Will Make 2008 Your Best Year Ever! Subscribe to my free RSS feed to get the rest of the series and never miss a tip!
