What motivates you?
Is it gentle nudging? Or do you need to be slapped around?
Personally, I prefer someone try to appeal to my intellect. But hey, we are all different… I am sure some of you prefer a more aggressive stance.
How do I know?
The Rich Jerk e-book sales for one.
But according to the article Self-help books get the ‘tough love’ treatment, self help books are turning abusive- and people are loving it!
“Pointed and politically incorrect titles like “He’s Just Not That Into You” and “Skinny Bitch” are burning up bestseller lists and inspiring copycats. The latter, written by former model Kim Barnouin and modeling agent Rory Freedman, is now No. 1 in paperback advice books on The New York Times bestseller list. A cookbook sequel came out in December.
Experts say their popularity reflects a demand from young, mainly female readers for in-your-face entertainment mixed with advice. While some say this new writing style may work where traditional prose or experts have failed, others question whether this trend degrades the reader and reflects poorly on our self-centered society.”
Recently. I was flipping around on XM Radio and I stopped on a show called Handle on the Law. The host, purportedly an attorney, was answering weeping callers with jabs such at “listen up stupid…” and “You know what you are if you didn’t get a signature on a contract?… An idiot!”
Maybe his listeners tolerate the abuse for free legal advice? Or is it he is simply portraying the “rabid lawyer” ?
Either way, it’s like watching listening to a train wreck.
But again, I have to wonder if a large segment of society responds better to abusive motivation than persuasive nudging. Maybe these people had domineering parents who kept them on their toes while they lived at home. But now they are out on their own, they have nobody to kick their butts.
What’s your opinion? Do insults get you moving? Or do you respond better to persuasion? Maybe you know someone who won’t take action without a kick in the pants. Tell us your story in the comments…
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Ya…to some extent yes….i have such parents who, sort of dominated, but in a positive way and i have been reading on your blog all those weight loose articles but nothing pushes me as much as a smirk from a girl about my weight…..
when i was a student i used both the strategies to motivate myself… gentle one like treating after achieving a target and slapping myself…yes u read that right…..slapping myself when i didn’t perform as per my standards or when my mind wandered a lot….
i still do that
In Hindi there is a saying” Laaton kay bhoot, baton say nahi mantay” which means… “some ghosts(people) are meant to be thrashed, they won’t understand if you talk to them.”
May be our ancestors realised this long time back…
I don’t like authority, so name calling works in the opposite way for me.
there was a show called sports science on the discovery channel recently that monitored a basketball player’s reaction to different coaching styles, and the player did better with the coach that was yelling at him, but from experience, I do better when I verbally abuse myself but if someone else does it, I want to give up
I once had a coach in high school who was quite verbal with us, but our team was the best in our district. I think people respond to harsh motivation in different ways. Some people buckle down and perform, and others simply shut down. Generally, when someone is barking orders at me with great feeling and emotion, I tend to remember!
It’s good to have a reality check sometimes, but I’m against any kind of abuse. Coaching should help you find your feet, not knock you off your feet.
I think abuse and force can definitely get results. I doubt all those Egyptian slaves built the pyramids because of their love of the pharaoh. However, this eventually backfires. They eventually rebel or escape, to say nothing of the moral problems associated with mistreating other human beings.
Kindness can also motivate a person to perform well. Often it works better. People will work longer, harder and make great sacrifices for leaders they care about.
But human nature being what it is, kindness can be taken advantage of. So I believe we need a mix of kindness and threats. Kindness to appeal to the better part of us and threats to prod the selfish part.
Many obstacles can be overcome with gentle persuasion and appeal to the intellect. However, there are those few yet tough habits which to break you need a kick in the pants. I wouldn’t go for verbal abuse but I would agree with the necessity of blunt consequences.
Nobody should be told they are worth less because of what they cannot to, but should definitely be told what they will never achieve if they don’t get on their feet and shape up.
Why is it that newspapers/news bulletins always carry negative and depressing stories rather than the uplifiting inspiring ones?
Why is it that there are no ‘feel good’ magazines on the shelf, or if they are they are drown out with the ones stating ‘my leg fell of in the shopping mall’.
Why is it that the bookshelves are currently littered with stories of abusive childhoods. And who wants to read such depressing stuff?
Why is it that TV is littered with shows that quite clearly abuse those with less than stellar intellect for the amusement of others. But then the Arena has been around since before Roman times so we should hardly be surprised.
I find it interesting that every motivation text you read focuses upon accentuating the positive yet the free market media generates income by doing exactly the opposite. So is there no money in the positive?
Neil, you make some great points. News – negativity Sells. Entertainment with the exception of kids movies ect. is negative.
I think it all boils down to wanting to be entertained. Its tough to add drama or excitement to a repetitive task. Whereas, if Someone is standing over you screaming “clean the dishes you loser! ” It’s entertaining in a way.
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