We’ve covered why the NO word is critical to your success.
But repeating “no” to every single request isn’t going to get you very far either. Unless your goal is to be the #1 bridge troll.
But when is it good to say yes? How can you choose the projects that help you AND the other party while avoiding the requests that don’t?
I’ve created a small checklist that will prevent you from committing to people and situations that drain your time and energy and leave you holding the bag.
It takes less than a minute, but will clarify costs and benefits of committing. It will give a strong indication about whether you should move forward with a particular request or pass it onto someone else.
1. Is it win-win? – Is helping this person a win-win arrangement? Or is it all one sided? If it’s one sided, the other party might not understand what you need from the agreement. Or worse! the person is taking advantage of your good nature. Seek an agreement that benefits both and nobody leaves feeling cheated.
2. Is it logical? May be fulfilling this request would benefit you both very well. However, does it make sense for YOU to do it? In other words, does it make logical sense to commit to this task?
3. Is this request something I can do and be happy about it? – Sure, it may seem like it benefits both parties. But to answer this question requires a gut check. Maybe you don’t feel right about it or something is “off” about it. In these cases, more discussion is probably a good next step. You certainly don’t want to commit to a long term project until you feel ok about it.
4. Do you have the time to do it? It may be a win-win situation. You may stand to gain a lot from agreeing to the commitment. But in order to do something new, you’ll have to give up doing something else. If you don’t have time, then it’s a bad deal because your stress level will increase and your quality of work will go down. Or you’ll shirk your other duties and wind up caught between two compelling actions.
5. Does the other party care about you!or do they care about your skills only? – In the 1980s there was a joke about how a doctor would never go to a party because he’d end up working harder diagnosing his friends’ problems than he does all week.
I bet doctors are now happy about the Internet age because now it’s the technology experts who can’t go to a party without being brow beaten about server architecture and whether someone can network their toasters.
Determining who is a friend vs. who is a client can be tough in certain social atmospheres. But making this conclusion early will save a lot of heartache down the road. If you are one of the people who possesses a hot skill set, be on the lookout for clients who disguise themselves as friends. Charge a fair price and you both will be happy.
Have you ever said “yes” to something you should have said NO to? If so, how do you think this checklist would have rescued you? Is there anything else the list is missing? Please tell us in the comments.
This is tip #85 of 101 Goal Setting Breakthroughs: A 31 Day Blog Series That Will Make 2008 Your Best Year Ever! Subscribe to my free RSS feed to get the rest of the series and never miss a tip!
